I can’t quit the internet. My brain is fried. My mind is melted. A million stories at once yet not one read to completion at all. Just in a haze going from one ugly frenzy of content to another, mixed in with some fluff to sweeten the lo.
Politics and arguments and bullshit and corruption all in the palm of my hand, giving me carpal tunnel text by text. The phone is a master and it summons you with its ringtones. Yes, that’s it…keep reading, I know you’re holding on to yours at the moment as well. We can’t get enough.
I wish I had my old brain back, before these days. I wish I could go back and experience that uninterrupted wonder. I can’t even shit without my phone. Truth be told I actually shit better without it but that’s just how damned addicted I am.
What can I do, become a hipster turned Luddite?
You gotta draw the line somewhere. I found this gizmo while doing some hardcore research on the possibilities of me operating a rotary phone with my own Iphone 5. Or maybe it’s an Iphone 6, that shit never mattered to me. It’s that sensational screen I can’t unglue my eyes from. And the ever depressing lack of friendly texts but instead the spam the spam the spam.
So I found this gizmo on the web and let’s hope she works cause it says it’s a bluetooth type deal. Phone jack to gizmo, gizmo to bluetooth – bluetooth then to my phone. I mean from my phone, which will be the rotary. Had one in my home as a kid growing up, loved that thing. Plan is to leave the phone at home, the cell that is, with the real phone, my rotary.
I await the end of my texting days with bated breath.
That way I can sit in my favourite chair at home and make and receive phone calls. I will get to hold onto something with some weight to it for god’s sake. I can feel the nostalgic room temperature ear piece and that boxy sound of the voice coming through the other end. And all my day’s calls will be an all at once type thing. Maybe in the afternoon. The rest of the day, I’ll be forced to be in the present.
Maybe my mind will unwind and I will find fortune and tranquility.
This way it’s like I have a landline but on the cheap. Always wanted a landline, since I didn’t have one after leaving home. Hope this works out, I’ll get back to you with an update.
